Honesty is Key

So many things run through my mind day and night. Not to sure how to turn them off. I feel like the people around me say they don’t feel seen or heard but I feel the same way a lot. It’s very hard for me to get my emotions out along with some past traumas or at least that’s me. I keep things bottled up until they just explode and by that time I’m just in a really bad mood. I always try to start my day off thinking and wanting things positive but that’s not always the case. Some days I have days where I don’t even want to get out of bed but I do have people that rely on me and I can’t afford to be in bed all day. I see my psychiatrist and there are two options that are available. It’s tms and ketamine both I need to do more research on before doing either. I would also like to get some thoughts on either one If anyone has any personal experiences with either one.

Verbal abuse is a real thing not many people see it that way but it is. Constantly being yelled at and cursed at is verbal abuse. We as women have learned that it’s okay due to the fact that we are women. Don’t get me wrong it goes both ways. Men and women can be verbally abused. But when it becomes a daily thing we get used to the idea that it’s not abuse its just the way things go. Kids and adults both can be verbally abused. Sorry I just wanted to get some things off my chest everyone have a great day.

During karate last night little man received a red and a blue stripe on his white belt. It was very exciting for the both of us. They are still working on the life skill for this semester. Which is humility. It is a very valuable life skill that all of us need and should have learned at a young age. This karate class has given him more structure and discipline. He is able to do 100 squats at once. We are working on push ups. I can’t really say anything about the push ups. I can get down to the ground for one. However, I cannot push myself back up while doing them correctly.

I made a big pan of Mac and cheese with shredded cheese along with cream cheese also. I made some deer steaks to go along with the Mac and cheese and also some green beans. That way we have a variety of foods when it comes to the protein, the greens and the pasta.

Apparently I did not hit the post button last night so I am going to post this now.

I hope everyone has a wonderful day.

Started laundry this morning ran a load of dishes, time to put them away and start on another task. I have been trying to declutter a little at a time. It takes time but when its finally fully decluttered its way easier to keep up with after the fact. Also have dinner set out for after karate class tonight. Im so happy that my kiddo really enjoys karate. It has taught him more discipline, motivation and structure. Ill be checking back in here shortly.

Hope everyone has had a great day so far.

Tackling a task at a time may seem like it takes forever. Honestly, it’s better to do task by task. This is preferable to starting a few and not being able to finish even one. There is a bit that I have learned over the past month or so. Like with the task and being able to love myself again like I had before years ago.

First task of the day is starting laundry then cleaning the kitchen then moving on to deep cleaning the bathroom. I have to stay on task today. already in the works of making breakfast. I will return shortly with an update on things.

I hope everyone has a wonderful day.

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My kiddo finished his 1st 6 weeks with flying colors. He didn’t get in trouble not one day. He received 100% every day except for the 2 days he was absent. You really can’t make a grade when you’re absent. His fall break is coming up were excited to see my dad, grandmother, aunt and uncle. It will be well worth the wait when it comes down to it. Little man always enjoys being able to see family. He most definitely is an outdoorsy kid and I wouldn’t change it for the world. He’s very family oriented which I’m very proud of him for being that way.

Today I have come to the library to get my kiddos library card and get one of my own. I am also here to finish up some paperwork where I can actually focus. I had to come up here anyways for my medicine. I am trying to get into a very focused mindset. However, my brain and body just want to shut down for a while and sleep. I am trying to get out of the sleep rut I’m in. Still, when I am sleeping, I have pain. It’s not like the pain if I’m awake. If anyone has suggestions I am open to them.

I know it’s a bit late but he started school on the 13th which was Wednesday of last week. I fell and had to have a temporary cast put on the day before he started school. So therefore that’s what I get for trying to catch myself. Little man’s had an amazing first day and came home with a first day of school headband. Then Thursday he came home with a first day of school picture that he colored it’s so perfect deft and I’m so happy that he’s getting some social skills in class. Yesterday which was Tuesday took him to school and had an appointment with ortho they said it would be about 2 months before I can fully use my arm. But he came home with the letter A picture he colored. He’s getting really good at this school thing but the bad part killed me this morning he didn’t want to get out of the car at all. They had to carry him into school today.

Last night we went to the er for little man. His chair tried to eat his arm. His chair completely closed on his arm so I just wanted to be sure there wouldn’t be any issues at all. I think he was trying to pull a me and be put in a cast. But everything turned out fine it’ll be just a bit of bruising and they sent him home with a popsicle.